Old Fashioned Values in Dating
Many times lately, I have heard that we need to go back to the “good ole’ days”. While technology has definitely made our lives easier, many agree that the old-fashioned values need to return in this disposable dating society.
The entire dating process has changed with the inclusion of technology. Social networking, speed dating, texting, or similar technological inventions have taken away the personal touch of dating. With most people possessing at least 3 different kinds of electronic mobile devices, the ammoniums “ding” and the subsequent seeking a peek at your device can really put a damper on what might have been a great date. It may also ruin chances for a future date. A real wink can send shivers down your spine while an emoticon just sits on the screen.
Romance has fallen by the wayside and the dating rules seem to change daily. Scarlet O’Hara, the heroine in the book and movie Gone with the Wind, seemed like the first woman to be torn between what society expected of her and the real feelings that she tried to hide. Even Scarlet herself would be appalled of the forwardness in today’s dating game.
There are many sayings from an era when women were taught to play hard to get and to waiting until the wedding. I don’t know if we should go that far, but there is something to be said for not putting it all out there on a first date or a first meeting. Relationships take time and time is something that people today have difficulty maintaining.
We have planners, calendars, computer programs and more to schedule every minute of every day. What happened to spontaneity? What happened to sitting around and talking and getting to know one another and not proving that one can be as dominant as the other?
Chivalry can work both ways. Being devoted to the relationship and the person is not old fashioned. It just seems harder in today’s society to move at a slower pace. Spend time courting, talking, learning about each other. Take time to meet the families. Find out the important things about each other before you move in together. The things that seem archaic; flowers, chocolate, holding doors open, are things that some women crave. Men often want to display this type of affection but are afraid of the woman’s reaction.
You can have the courage to be different, be mysterious, be yourself. You may be surprised that sticking to your old fashioned values and beliefs will gain you respect, and if it doesn’t, maybe that he wasn’t the right one for you. Stand your ground and make it clear that you are not a “loosey, goosey”. You can be a modern woman but still hold onto your beliefs.
If the guy is willing to “wait” for you and get to know you first before moving on, he is probably worth the wait. Find someone who admires you for your old fashioned values, not someone who tries to change you.